It's Raining in Hamburg

     I had the opportunity to watch a newscast in German without subtitles and was asked to explain what was happening.  I wish I knew.  I now realize how much I depend on language to tell the story.  The anchors were very somber and gave none of the story away with any kind of emotion.  The first story seemed to be about a businessman in trouble with the courts.  The second was a young man who was proud of something he did.  There was a military demonstration where people burned a flag and a military ceremony where someone was honored.  The only thing I really understood was that a winter storm was making the roads treacherous but it was going to be raining in Hamburg soon!
     When I turned the closed captioning on and watched the program again, it was very different.  The man in the courts was actually the former president of Germany who was in court for corruption charges. He was accused of taking a bribe from a friend. The man who was proud of something was actually a former pro football planned who announced that he was a homosexual.  His reasoning for coming out was so that younger players who are also gay would feel better about themselves.  The military ceremony that honored someone was actually honoring the German defense minister at his last post.  He was honored for his years serving his country.  The treacherous weather report was actually about the winter weather in the United States, not Germany as I had thought.  Nearly every assumption that I made was wrong.
     This assignment has shown me how little I really understand when I don't have my native language to explain things to me.  It was hard to get a mood or feeling from any of the news stories because of how somber the newscasters were.  It was all very subdued and serious, even her speaking voice was very monotone and free of any emotional clues as to the mood of the stories.  I realize how hard it must be for someone who does not know the language to understand what is going on in any situation.  I hope that I can be patient with foreigners that I will deal with in my professional life in the future.  Communication is such a large part of society, without it we are lost and handicapped.

I was duped; the ups and downs of parenting

Parenting, is it what we expected?  Everyone has a different idea of what parenting looks like, whether you have children or not, everyone has an opinion.  Today I talked to my sister Jessica, a 37 year old mother of 2 boys about being a parent, and all the trials and tribulations that come with that title.
What does being a parent mean to you?
J-"Its a job with an endless list of list of duties, caregiver, nurse, champion, maid, taxi driver, teacher, referee.  Its the hardest job and the best job all rolled into one."

Did you think this is what parenting would be when you were younger?
J-"Hell no, I thought it would be more snuggles and doing fun stuff than the hard stuff that just comes with the day.  You always see babies in the movies as sweet, sleeping, good smelling miniature versions of you that you can cuddle and kiss.  What they don't tell you is that baby may be a fussy screamer who doesn't stop crying from midnight to 4am.  I didn't realize how much work having kids is.  I love it, but sometimes I hide in the bathroom to escape."

How would you describe your parenting?
J-"I'm a good mom, but I don't have a handbook on how it should be done.  I do my best every day to make sure they know they're loved."

What are your parenting strengths?
J-"To just love them, I want them to be good human beings and I try to teach them that.  The boys have chores and responsibilities, I want them to know how to work and how to play."

Do you have parenting weaknesses?
J-"Of course!  I wish I was more patient. They are boys, and they are destructive and messy, sometimes I have to go outside to cool off before I talk to them about whatever catastrophe they have created."

Do you think you've influenced their lives, and what ways would you like to continue influencing them?
J-"Hopefully I have influenced them in a good way, I want them to know they are the most important things in the world to me.  I love being a parent, its the hardest job I've ever had or ever will have, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I want them to grow up to be kind adults.  If I can manage that, then I will think I succeeded as a mom."

     Jessica is a good parent.  I can see the pride and love in her eyes when she talks about her boys.  She cares about them and wants to make sure that they have a good childhood that will lead to them becoming good adults.  She experiences the daily struggles of parenting with good humor.  Yes, they can push her buttons and make her crazy but that is just life.  She has realistic expectations of being a mom and knows that even though its hard, it is worth it.  She has a good sense of humor that gets her through the day and some of the more frustrating aspects of parenting.
     My version of parenting is very similar to Jessie's, after all, we were raised together by the same parents.  We grew up knowing that we were loved.  Our parents gave us independence to explore and grow but we always knew that they were there to catch us when we fell.  Parents are the most important people in a child's life.  They are the supporters and teachers, the first people that a child looks to for guidance.  It is a very difficult job, much harder than in the movies.  It does not come with a handbook on all the things that you need to do to create the best life possible for a child.  Its an on-the-job-training kind of career, and it is definitely a career.  Your child will always be your child, even when they are a senior citizen.
     What I have stated above, is an ideal parent/child relationship, unfortunately some children do not have a parent to guide them in their lives and choices.  These children have to look for something to take the place of that parent figure.  They have to look to community or peers to fill that gap.  Everyone needs someone or something to show them how to navigate life.